Sunday, January 08, 2006

Bubble Gum Bible

I love Christian kitsch. (See my very first post on this subject.) A fly on the wall at Dubble Bubble, Inc. overhears a conversation:

Sales: We need to sell more gum! Hershey's is killing us.
Marketing: Well, people buy a lot of candy at Christmas -- maybe we can cash in.
Sales: But what does bubble gum have to do with Christmas?
Marketing: Nothing -- what difference does that make? I've got it! We'll sell Bubble Gum Bibles! It's basically a box of gum, with the Christmas story on it. And fancy pictures. And our brand name logo.
Sales: Brilliant!

Perhaps this is why, when I asked my 5 year old son what Christmas was about, he said:

"Christmas is about candy and Jesus' birth."

When a child receives the "Bubble Gum Christmas Story Book," what do you think their reaction is? "Oh boy, a beautifully illustrated, 5-sentence version of the birth narrative! Thanks, Dad! Oh, and there's gum in it, too!"

If you could see inside, you'll notice the Wise Men are conspicuously absent. Maybe they got sidetracked following the enormous Dubble Bubble logo in the sky.

Thanks, Dubble Bubble, Inc., for bringing the Christmas story to the children of the world.


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