Monday, August 07, 2006

Fear-of-the-Lord

Eugene Peterson strings four words together, forming a new locution which describes a crucial aspect of the life of faith. I think I'm experiencing it, and it's not pleasant.

Life feels a little turbulent, out of control, frightening. Several Godzilla-sized monsters loom on the horizon, waiting to consume me. Unanswered questions. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. Potential crises, churning like a boiling pot of liquid, seem ready to spill over onto me.

Then I read Peterson's explanation of FOTL. He lists the tell-tale symptoms: it "includes all the emotions that accompany being scared -- the disorientation, the not-knowing what is to happen to me, the realization that there is far more here than I had any idea of."

When I came upon this paragraph (in Christ Plays), I felt like a lost man who had stumbled across a clue, carved on some ancient cave wall, that would lead him home. These horrible weights pressing down on my chest, with their suffocating darkness, were a gift from God. They drove me to pray as I hadn't prayed in months. They drove me to look outside myself. They drove me to God, home. The fear-of-the-Lord.

2 Comments:

Blogger joy hennin said...

Thanks for posting this reflection. It doesn't explain the mystery of life and all the waves of uncertainty that we ride in this life. It reminds me that the Lord is with me and has given me the opporunity to know and love Him in a more dependant way. Thanks.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

God gives us needs so that he can give us grace. Great post.

9:04 PM  

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