Living With Nessie

I was discouraged after a recent tense episode with my wife. When will we ever resolve these issues that continually resurface like some lurking monster beneath a misty Scottish loch? Ten years have passed, and we are only seeing more deeply into the murky waters of our own sinfulness and pain. Anger, bitterness, estrangement -- they seem so insoluable. How can we go on, pretending that everything's OK, when our fragile vessel could be capsized at any given time by the leviathan?

Then it hit me. In my walk with God, it is not required of me that I have all my "issues" resolved. Neither should it be in my marriage. In fact, I have come to beleive that the life of faith simply is the act of living in the midst of pain and yuck while clinging desperately to God. Of course we pray for and purposefully pursue healing, forgiveness and change. But it is neither denial nor fantasy to move forward, to savor tender moments together, while Nessie slithers somewhere in the depths.

Swim away, Nessie. We're not waiting around for you. Someday we will be rid of you, but not yet. Not yet.